VAMPIRE AWAKENING, THE REAL YOU
AWAKENING: Coming to terms, or the discovery of being vampiric, as relates to this section. Can also apply to other 'inner self' concepts as well.
Very often around vampire resources,
will come the question from 'newbies' about 'awakening' to their vampire
side. IE: "I think I'm a vampire but I'm not sure.. *list of physical
traits and habits*"
Vampirism is very personalized in most areas, such as abilities and level of energy Deficientcy However, the constant remains that a vampire NEEDS energy. The simple ability to draw energy and use it does not make one a vampire. In fact many 'magic' workers and 'other kin' can and do drain energy for other purposes. Drinking blood can be considered a fetish for some non vampires, so this method of distinguishing vamps does not work either.
The question you must ask yourself is: "Do I have an absolute need for energy in some form?"
The next step is to find out whether that need is due to a medical reason such as iron deficiency. Basically a lot of soul searching is required before you can be sure of things. Again, soul searching is recommended to ANYONE. It is very beneficial and satisfying in the end, even if you aren't what you most desired to be.
Once you have a somewhat firm grasp on who you are, and have found that indeed you have the vampiric need for outside energy sources, you've got a lot to learn about the 'real' you. It's not an easy task, dealing with the new discovery that you have to work just a little bit harder to maintain yourself than other people.
You've got to learn how to hold on to your energy and not 'bleed' it away during the day. You've got to learn how to feed, either psi or blood or both. You've got to learn to shield yourself (everyone should, but it's VITAL for vamps) so your energy isn't 'stolen', which can be absolutely devastating. You've got to learn to deal with a new hunger, without substituting things that will ruin you (food, drugs, etc.).
Step 1: Learn to Relax
The single most important thing during this time is to learn to let things go and relax. With all the changes you're going through you really, REALLY don't need the added stress of obsessing over things and letting stuff that really doesn't matter much bother you and build up into insurmountable problems. As much as you think the world might come to an end in five minutes, it won't. The sun will still come up tomorrow, and life will go on, and so will you.
Taking up meditation is recommended, and has helped many newly awakened. Just set aside a few minutes a day (for example - 15 minutes in the morning and evening) to relax, calm yourself, and NOT think about the things that are bothering you. Your problems will wait (unless your house is on fire or something). Once you've got yourself a bit more grounded, your problems might just seem a bit more manageable, and you'll be in better shape to deal with them.
Step 2: DON'T Obsess
Next to being able to relax, this is one of the most critical things to learn to help you get through a relatively 'tough time' in good shape. There's nothing to be gained by making 'understanding yourself' a life-filling quest or obsession. If it's really part of you, it's not going to go anywhere, so you'll have your entire lifetime to understand and adjust to it. Take your time. The only thing that obsessing over it and flooding every message board you visit with questions will get you is almost universal disregard and dismissal as either an over-zealous obsessive or poser. Take your time, you've got plenty.
Step 3: Question Everything
It's cliché and very X-Files, but it'll get you through. Don't take the word of anyone as gospel, we don't know everything. Nobody knows all there is to know about it.
No one is saying you should disregard all you see, by no means, but you have to take it all with a grain (in some cases a bucket) of salt. There's a lot of fantasy and RP (Roll-Play) out there and you don't want to end up basing your entire lifestyle on a fairy-tale.
Read all of it, ask any questions you have... then evaluate what you've got and see what fits with you. Vampirism is as varied as the individual. There is no universal answer to it.
Step 4: Test the Theory
Work with what you have and find out what you can do, where you need work, and what you're simply unable to do right now. Don't worry if it all doesn't work right away, it may take years. Just work with what you have. The rest will come in time.
Once you've come to grips, and have a basic idea and comfort in who you are, the next step is learning how to control feeding and how to protect yourself with the use of 'shields' and energy manipulation. These things take time to master and gain some sort of control over so don't panic if you don't seem to 'feel' yourself feeding, or can't seem to construct a shield. Many vampires feed automatically, and you may find before you came to terms with the 'label' of who you are, that your feeding had been ongoing automatically without your knowledge. This can become dangerous around other vampires or 'sightful' people and feeding of any sort should be controlled as much as possible. Shielding is something that needs to be practised. Some vampires have the ability in built, most need to learn it. A very basic method of shield construction is using visualization. Gather the 'energy' in and around your aura, and mentally construct a 'bubble' that allows energy to flow IN, but not out. you will find that it takes a measure of concentration to maintain the shield, quite a lot at first, but gradually you should be able to keep it functioning at the back of your conscious mind. Some vampires can achieve the shield maintenance in the subconscious mind. This is a simple shield method, other vampires have their own 'styles' and 'designs' of shield that can do anything from back-lashing non-physical 'attacks' to projecting 'decoys' for anything that might take an interest in such a large collection of energy. Other shield forms can assist in 'in-born' talents such as cloaking.
It all takes time to comprehend and get used to, don't ever rush the discovery of who you are in life and remember that you aren't ever alone.
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